


Reddie- Something More to Fear

by inkgoblinz



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Drug Use, High School, M/M, Pining, Slurs, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-26 23:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20750579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkgoblinz/pseuds/inkgoblinz
Summary: “Stan, you are my best friend, we’ve known each other since kindergarten...” Rich said quietly.“Then why don’t we hang out anymore?”“I-I don’t know I-““Do you love Eddie?”We start in 1991, where the remaining losers are halfway through their freshman year. I’m not 100% sure where i’m going with this story but i really like how this short excerpt turned out so I think I’m going to move forward and make this into a thing. I may eventually start to write post “It Chapter Two” as well because I have a handful of ideas, we’ll see. It may just look like one-shots that take place in different points of Richie’s life. Anyways, enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***quick warning for homophobic and anti semitic slurs***

Winter sun beat down through the windows at Mcdonald’s, illuminating the sight of two boys enjoying their lunch. Richie Tozier gobbled down savory french fries as Stanley Uris politely ate a cheeseburger.

“Is that kosher?” Richie snarked. Stan rolled his eyes and ignored his friend.

“Thanks for hanging out with me Rich,” Stan said with a light smile.

“Aw dude, are you kidding? I love hanging out with you! You’re like my best friend, Stan the Man,” he answered, shoveling fries down his gullet.

Stan looked confused and said quietly, “What? No, I thought Eddie’s your best friend.”

“No dude he’s not, you are,” Richie said definitively.

Stan furred his eyebrows, “No, we haven’t hung out in forever because you always are with Eddie, that’s why i’m thanking you for coming today. I didn’t think you considered us to be best friends anymore.”

Richie’s mouth turned dry, so he reached for his water.

“Stan, you are my best friend, we’ve known each other since kindergarten...” Rich said quietly.

“Then why don’t we hang out anymore?”

“I-I don’t know I-“

“Do you love Eddie?”

Those words hit Richie like a truck. He searched Stan’s face for anger or disgust, but all he found was genuine confusion.

Rich grew bitter and spat, “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not a faggot.”

Stan became defensive, and took a beat.

“I never said that word. That’s a hateful word, why the fuck would I call you that? It’s like somebody calling me a kike, c’mon man, we’re 15...”

Richie stammered, then shut down, staring at his unfinished french fries.

Stan sighed, sensing deep repression in his friend, and said calmly, “You don’t have to answer that...”

Richie was too far gone to hear Stan, it took him a moment to snap out of it.

“We can hang out more, I’m sorry if I’ve been shitty...”

Stan said quietly, “No, no it’s okay, seriously, sorry if I was crossing a line.”

“Sorry that I’m being a douche.”

“Don’t sweat it, you’re only a douche sometimes,” Stan smiled.

“Hey, I’m only a douche when I’m inside your mom, cleaning her out,” Richie joked.

“There he is,” Stan said, happy that his friend regained his comedic facade.

They finished their lunch, giggling over stupid jokes, then bid each other goodbye until tomorrow. Stan didn’t need Richie to answer his question, he knew the answer all too well.

Richie took off on his bike, mind reeling with thought, but he didn’t head home. He made a beeline from the restaurant to his sacred spot, somewhere that no one knew. He would go there to think often. His dirty, little secret spot on the kissing bridge. He dropped his bike and jogged over to his carving as the brisk breeze brushed hair from his cheeks. No one could guess that he carved it, it wasn’t too obvious, but it wasn’t too hidden. Just a normally sized carving, a quaint R+E carved there two years ago. Richie ran his fingers over the E intently and his glasses fogged.

“Fuck...” He knew too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh shut up, I know you haven’t kissed a girl either,” Eddie raised a leg and shoved Richie lightly with his foot, giggling lightly behind puffy eyes.  
“Actually no, only you haven’t.”  
“Wait what?” Eddie sat up in a dazed confusion and continued.  
“Yeah your mother and I are very happy together-“ Eddie burst into laughter before his friend could even finish his sentence. Richie joined him to mask his sudden curiosity. They laughed over that dumb joke for what felt like hours, then calmed down and just sat there, smiling at each other as Run DMC played in the background.  
“We should just get it over with,” Eddie said.  
Richie pushed some hair from his eyes and adjusted his glasses, “The packet?” Eddie studied Richie’s face, and Richie flushed with confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***recreational weed use warning***  
I cannot express how grateful I am for all the support ive gotten so far! I apologize how much longer this part is than the first one, but i can stay in confidence that i know where I’m going to take this story! There should be maybe three or four more chapters after this, and like i said some of it will take place after the second movie so please be aware of spoilers! Enjoy!

Three weeks away from winter break was all it took for Eddie to go into panic mode. Coincidentally, biology was his demise. It was a mix of learning about the microscopic organisms that plagued his nightmares, and the fact that he shared the class with his distracting friend Richie, that created the formula for not being able to retain the information correctly. With three weeks left he was stuck at Richie’s house, attempting to finish the packet that they were assigned days before. Eddie sat on the carpeted floor with his binder in his lap, tapping his pencil nervously as he tried to concentrate. It was about noon on a Saturday, and Richie was already on his annoying gimmicks. He blew hot air on the back of Eddies neck to distract him. Eddie flinched, and lashed out.  
“Dude c’mon this is due in, what, a couple days, and we’ve barely started!” he said with an underlying sense of dread.  
Richie held back a grin and said calmly, “Jesus man calm down, look we’ve got the first page done!” He continued to pick lightly as the boy’s hair.  
Eddie shoved him off, “Don’t tell me to calm down dickhead, thats one page out of ten, and our teacher already hates me.”  
He looked back down at his paper and began to attempt to concentrate on their packet again. He became stuck on the first question he read and fured his eyebrows.  
He asked, “What’s the sexual organ of a flower called again?”  
“A pussy,” Richie stated confidently.  
“Ah right how could I forgot!!!” Eddie slammed his pencil down on his binder and buried his face in his hands. Richie could hear his friend mutter a muffled, “I hate high school I hate high school...”  
Tozier tried to muffle his laughter. Eddie glanced up from his position and his eyes meet Richie’s.  
“Oh you think this is so funny wise guy?” He shoved him annoyed, but playfully. The two played out their altercation quickly, rough housing like a couple of dumb boys, which is right on brand for them.  
Richie shoved off Eddie and huffed, “Fuck off, virgin.”  
Eddie chuckled triumphantly, then closed his binder slowly, stood up, walked over to Richie’s bed, and collapsed on it. Richie eyed his friend carefully, and the boy laying on the bed sighed.  
“I feel like some people just aren’t built for high school. People as in me, I’m people,” Eddie said to himself.  
Richie rolled his eyes and said with sincerity, “Oh c’mon, you have straight A’s, A for asshole.”  
“Wish I could say the same for you buddy!” Eddie bore a shit eating grin, and Richie clambered over to the bed threatening retaliation, but just sat on the floor at the foot of it and stared up at Eddie. The two kind of just looked at each other. These silent exchanges have become pretty common for the two, and neither of them ever knew what to say about them. In this moment, Eddie laid on his back staring at Richie, who’s chin rested on the footboard of his queen sized bed. The two just gazed at each other. The exchange felt years long, though it only lasted a second, and just as soon as it started, Eddie rolled his head over and stared at the ceiling. Richie looked away the moment eye contact was broken.  
Eddie chimed back in, “Hey, do you have any new comics?”  
“Uh yeah, a couple.. new Fantastic Four,” Richie said as he reached over to his bin of comics that sat next to him and pulled a thin graphic novel out from it. Eddie rolled over onto his stomach excitedly and held out a hand for Richie to pass it over to him. The curly haired boy pulled the comic away from his friend.  
“What’s the magic word?” Richie teased.  
“Oh blow me,” Eddie said as he snatched it from Richie and opened it with stars in his eyes.  
Richie rolled his eyes and said, “Funny, that’s what your mom told me last night!” Eddie rolled up the comic and bopped Richie on the top of the head gently, which caused him to adjust his glasses nervously and smile lightly as a light shade of red stained his cheeks. Eddie clambered over to the foot of the bed and held the comic out so both boys could see it. Kaspbrak studied the pages, and Tozier studied Eddie’s face.  
“Is it just me or is Susan storm kinda hot?” Eddie asked.  
Richie hesitated, “Woof, what I would do to be between that pair...” He wanted to punch himself in the face. The fact that he couldn’t find the appeal in this seemingly hot super heroin was upsetting to say the least.  
Eddie picked up on Richie’s sudden discomfort and said, “But I’d have to say my favorite super hero has to be Wolverine...”  
“Wolverine is so fucking cool,” Richie concluded, and the two smiled over their mutual agreement.  
“Imagine if your bones were made of metal, how cool would that be?” Eddie exclaimed.  
“I already have a bone made of metal,” Richie stated with confidence, causing his friend to scoff and shove his face away.  
Eddie rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah it’s like you unsheathe it like a lightsaber,” and attempted to mimic the sound.  
Richie took a beat, then snorted loudly and belted out a cackle. Eddie flushed heavily at the sight of pure joy on his friend’s face, then laughed along with him.  
The door opened slowly, and the two darted their eyes towards it. Eddie sat up, putting enough space between the two to look more casual. Richie looked down.  
Mrs. Tozier smiled at the two boys and said, “Hey kiddos, just checking in on you, how’s the work going?”  
“Fine, Mrs. Tozier,” Eddie said politely.  
Richie sighed and said, “Mom, what did I say about knocking?”  
“I know I know, I just brought you boys a snack,” she said, holding out a plate of celery sticks with peanut butter, “Eddie dear, you’re not allergic to peanuts are you?”  
“No ma’am, thank you.” She gave the boys one last smile, then left, closing the door behind her.  
“I just can’t stand celery...” Eddie continued under his breath. Richie ran his hands through his thick hair, frustrated.  
“I don’t know why she babys me like that,” he spat.  
Eddie shoved his friend playfully and said, “I promise I’ll make an honest woman of her once we graduate.”  
“Oh you dick!” Richie lunged at him menacingly as Eddie laughed and jumped off the bed. The two ran around the room like children, Tozier chasing Kaspbrak. Richie slipped on the comic laying on the floor and came crashing into his friend, causing them to tumble down on top of each other. Richie blinked and rubbed his head, then realized his awkward position and scurried off.  
Eddie winced and sat up, then looked over to Richie and asked, “Are you okay..?”  
“Yeah, you..?”  
“I’m fine.”  
Eddie glanced to the window and saw a group of kids on bikes speed down the hill, causing him to remember their fateful summer before 7th grade. He remembers Beverly, who moved away with her aunt before they could even begin the new school year.  
“I miss Bev...” he said quietly. Richie looked over at his friend and nodded.  
“I miss Bill...” Richie followed up with. Bill moved over the summer before they started high school. His family apparently needed a fresh start, four years after they lost Georgie. The Losers Club was now down to five, and things haven’t felt the same since.  
They held a long, mournful silence, then Eddie muttered, “We should just get the packet over with.”  
“I totally understand your point, and I partially agree, the only thing is that I really don’t want to,” Richie said with a groan.  
Eddie nodded, agreeing.  
“Dude, I’ve been trying to tell you I have a better idea,” Richie said, standing up. He walked over to his closet and Eddie’s eyes followed.  
“Oh yeah?” Eddie asked inquisitively. Richie reached up and he grabbed a box, then set it down on the ground and began rummaging through it. He then pulled out another smaller box, and inside that was a mason jar that had a bag carrying a joint.  
Eddie looked confused, and Richie asked, “Do you know what this is?”  
It took the kid a moment, but it didn’t take too long for Eddie to figure out it was pot.  
He slapped a hand over his mouth in shock and said, “Where the fuck did you get that?”  
“Some junior at school had them, I used all my lunch money to buy it!”  
“Ok ok yeah but, why?”  
“I feel like it’s about time, you know? It’s gotten to a point where we could try pot for the first time and it like won’t be a big deal.”  
“Easy for you to say!” Eddie was clearly intimidated by the idea, but what else is new.  
Richie huffed, frustrated, and said, “Dude c’mon, you know I would only try it for the first time with you. And look! I bought a big one, enough for the both of us to share!”  
It was flattering offer, it was always nice to hear how important Eddie was to someone, especially Richie. Eddie sighed.  
“What’s the worst that can happen?” He asked begrudgingly. Richie fist pumped the air and went to open the jar.  
“We’ve fought a monster, I think we can handle this,” Eddie continued, gaining confidence.  
“That’s what I’m saying!” Richie pulled out the grass, wrapped in a thin paper, and eyed it carefully. He too was intimidated, but he’d never admit it.  
“Grab the lighter in my night stand, will you?” He asked Eddie who was clearly closer.  
Eddie shrugged and did so, digging it out from the drawer as it laid next to a cosmopolitan magazine and a pack of Marlboro’s. He passed it to Richie, then sat back on the floor. Richie quickly locked his door and opened his window, then took a seat down next to his friend. He lit the joint with shaky hands and took a deep inhale, and held it. Eddie had a look of concern plastered on his face.  
“Most people don’t even feel it on their first try, right?” Eddie thought out loud as he put his hands in his lap. Richie shook off the question and exhaled, studying how the smoke danced in the midday sun. He coughed lightly, then reached for the water bottle sitting on the floor next to him and took a swig.  
“Woof, tastes like dirt,” he concluded, then passed it to his vibrating friend. Eddie took it slowly, then raised it to his lips and took a pull, then coughed it all back out. Richie laughed and patted his friend on the back as his lungs just rejected the smoke. They finished it off in about ten minutes, it took a little longer than usual due to Eddie’s weak respiratory system. Richie flung the evidence from his window, then laid on the ground next to Eddie, and they both ate the snack Mrs. Tozier provided out of boredom.  
“I wonder how long it takes to kick it,” Richie thought out loud.  
“I dunno, I just know I feel really relaxed,” Eddie said softly.  
Richie stood up and walked over to his small radio, then turned it on. Beastie Boys blasted, and the curly haired boy began swaying his hips, dancing to the music. Eddie laughed, a little too loudly, and covered his mouth, giggling like a baby.  
Richie laughed too and asked, “Oh my god are you high?”  
“I don’t know? Are you?”  
“Maybe?”  
The boys stared at each other with bloodshot eyes, giggling manically. Richie shrugged and continued to dance as if no one was watching. Eddie felt the sudden urge to join him, so he stood up carefully and began stumbling to the music. Richie bumped their hips together, and Eddie was taken aback a little. Even while high, Richie couldn’t help but have rhythm, a skill Eddie was yet to figure out. Tozier took his friend’s hands and they began to sway to the music. This felt like a dream. Not the fact that they were dancing together, they do that deed while sober, but Eddie actually felt asleep because of how high he was. He was just reeling in the vibe. Richie on the other hand was a lier. He’s been smoking weed for a good four months now, so he has grown somewhat of a tolerance to it. What felt like a dream to him was Eddie’s fingers interlocked with his. They danced clumsily until the song ended, then Eddie let go and clambered over to the bed, crawling into the sheets like a burrowing animal.  
“Hooly shit this feels like a cloud,” Eddie said in a sing-song-y voice. Richie caught himself staring, and looked down at his feet.  
“Yeah uh, my mom uses fabric softener,” he explained.  
“Oh my god that is like, so gay,” Eddie said absentmindedly. Richie felt a sour feeling in his stomach and he stopped dancing.  
“Dude c’mon, it’s just my mom, you know how she is...” Richie said defensively.  
“Hm?” Eddie was clearly tuned out, buried in bed sheets. Tozier smiled a little, then walked over to join him.  
“Make room for your boy,” he said as he climbed into the covers with his friend. They laid close to each other, Eddie was so out of it that he didn’t notice the sideways glances Richie gave him.  
“Richie, I feel like I’m sleeping, I’m trying so hard to hold onto reality,” Eddie said, reaching his hand up towards the ceiling as he laid on his back.  
“Me too...” Richie said in a soft tone. He reached his hand up to match Eddie’s, then caught himself being too weird and sat up, away from his friend.  
“We still haven’t done the packet,” he tried to change the subject.  
“I don’t like high school, fuck it,” was all Eddie could muster to say.  
“We’re still freshmen, we have a long road ahead of us,” Richie shrugged.  
“I just feel like such a loser...”  
“Yeah no shit, welcome to the club.”  
“At least the others have like, kissed a girl,” Eddie said, defeated.  
Richie took a beat, then said, “Oh I didn’t know that Bev kissed a girl, thats kinda hot.”  
“Fuck you, I’m talking about the other guys.”  
“Aren’t you scared of like, mono or some shit?”  
“Oh shut up, I know you haven’t kissed a girl either,” Eddie raised a leg and shoved Richie lightly with his foot, giggling lightly behind puffy eyes.  
“Actually no, only you haven’t.”  
“Wait what?” Eddie sat up in a dazed confusion and Richie continued.  
“Yeah your mother and I are very happy together-“ Eddie burst into laughter before his friend could even finish his sentence, and Richie didn’t take too long to join him. They laughed over that dumb joke for what felt like hours, then calmed down and just sat there, smiling at each other as Run DMC played in the background.  
“We should just get it over with,” Eddie said.  
Richie pushed some hair from his eyes and adjusted his glasses as he asked, “The packet?” Eddie studied Richie’s face, and Richie flushed with confusion. Eddie didn’t mean the packet.  
“I think... I think I’m really hungry,” Eddie decided, then stood up and marched over to the door, ready to raid the kitchen. Richie was winded with emotion, and he fell back onto the bed with a groan before joining his friend with the munchies. Richie’s mom left to go to run some errands, thankfully so, and they spent the rest of the afternoon raiding the pantry, creating flavor concoctions of their wildest dreams such as cheese wizz on potato chips. When his mom got home, they made their escape back to Richie’s room where they polished off a box of Lucky Charms. They began to sober up around 8:00 at night, by that point they were falling asleep on top of each other as they listened to the late night radio on Richie’s bed. In their groggy minds, they didn’t even think to stop cuddling before they fell asleep.  
Eddie blinked, and it was morning. He looked around as memories flooded back to him from the night before, and realized he was laying in a pool of sweat. He began to sit up, but realized he was caught under the arm of Richie. Eddie hesitated to move, as to not wake his friend, but god he needed a shower. He slid out from under his friend’s grasp carefully, then crept to the bathroom across the hall. Eddie has spent many nights sleeping over the Tozier’s house, they always let him shower when he needed to. But something felt off, and as Eddie stripped down in completely privacy, he felt sheepish. The warm shower brought comfort to his utterly exhausted body. He couldn’t tell if he regretted smoking that joint or not. As he splashed water over his face, more and more memories of what happened came back to bite him in the ass. He cringed at how he spilled his emotions to Richie so easily, like some drunk at a bar telling strangers about his divorce. He thought about what he said, and his heart began to race as he wondered if he actually hinted that they should kiss. Did that really happen? Eddie leaned his head back as the warm water rushed over his naked skin, then smacked himself in the face, as he remembered one last thing.  
They didn’t do the packet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of boys shouting at the two was muffled as Richie and Eddie fought playfully under the water. Richie opened his eyes, and could see the murky outline of Eddie’s face as bubbles poured out from both of their noses. His glasses began to float off his face, but Eddie caught them just in time, returning them to the face of their owner before breaching the water and gasping for air. It was an intimate moment that Richie bookmarked in his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****homophobia warning in this chapter****  
We’re almost at 1000 views boys! I cannot express how happy that makes me, knowing how I’ve only has this story up for a couple of days!! I hope you all like this chapter, it gets pretty emotional. After this is when we’ll shoot forward in time so if you haven't seen the second movie yet please do not keep reading because I will write spoilers!

For the losers, nothing was more satisfying than emptying their backpacks out into the dumpsters in the front of the school. Sophomore year came and went, and the five boys were now faced with the looming dread of junior year in a couple months.  
“Your parents are already looking at college?” Richie questioned after Stan explained his stress.  
“Mhmm, they want me to major in either law or Jewish Ethics,” Stan said as he dumped his papers from his bag.  
Ben was casually reading a page from his History text book before Richie tore it from his fingers and dumped it.  
“Hey!” Ben shouted.  
“No more studying! No more!” Tozier said, grabbing the boy by the shoulders.  
Eddie dug Ben’s book from the trash and handed it back to the stout kid.  
“Hey dickwad, these things are expensive,” Eddie said to Richie.  
In the past school year, Eddie has filled out into less of short, scrawny boy. He had broader shoulders, thicker hair, and a small, quaint mustache that rested above his upper lip. This fact made Richie feel some sort of way, inferior to say the least. Though he was still much taller than his friend, his gawky body was feeble compared to everybody else in the Losers Club. Ben was beginning to grow into his frame, Mike became stronger and more like a man, even Stan was starting to look like his father.  
“So, what are we doing to celebrate?” Mike asked with a sense of hope.  
“I thought we could hit the convenient store, the quarry, and then the park in that order,” Stan said.  
“Sounds fun,” Ben smiled.  
In the absence of Bill, Stan naturally took the role of making all their plans. It wasn’t something that was voted upon, Stan just was good at it. And no one bothered to argue with him.  
“Sounds great guys, I’ll have to meet y’all at the quarry though, I gotta go home and take care of some things,” Richie said as he took his bike from the bike rack.  
“Oh bullshit, you never have anything going on when we make plans,” Eddie responded, also grabbing his bike.  
“Well something came up, I gotta go preform fellatio on your mom real quick,” Richie stuck his tongue out, and Eddie did so too in retaliation.  
“That’s fine Rich, we’ll be there in an hour,” Stan nodded.  
“I’ll beat you guys there, you won’t even know I was gone!” Richie hopped on his bike and sped off, waving bye to his friends as he disappeared over the hill.  
Eddie could sense something was up, but ignored his gut and focused on having a good time.  
The four booked it to 7/11 and traced the pristine isles in search of snacks worthy for a king. Eddie poured himself a big, red slurpee and grabbed a bag of gummy worms for Richie as the others fended for themselves.  
“Hey guys, check this out,” Mike ushered them all over. He stood by the magazine rack, holding a Cosmopolitan Woman’s Health, who’s cover displayed a woman dressed in a scantily clad bikini.  
“Wow,” Eddie said and raised his eyebrows.  
“Gosh...” was all Ben could mutter under his breath.  
Stan just stood there and stared.  
“Nice stuff, right?” Mike smirked.  
Eddie slurped his slushee slowly, then managed to pry his eyes away and asked, “Can we pay now?”  
The bike ride to the quarry was always scenic. They passed by buildings, then houses, then farms, and then were surrounded by nothing but trees and the road ahead. The dramatic shift in atmosphere was notable through not only the sights, but the way the air smelled. It was delicious, and Eddie reminded himself to never move to the city.  
The Losers parked their bikes at the cliffside where Richie sat patiently, waiting for his friends.  
“All taken care of?” Eddie asked.  
“All taken care of,” Richie confirmed.  
The boys began stripping down to their underwear, and as they did there was an obvious wall Richie was putting up. He undressed away from his friends, refused to make eye contact, and was the first to jump into the water below. Eddie followed, then Mike, and lastly Stan and Ben together.  
The five friends splashed in the murky water just like old times. In a game of chicken fight, Eddie was pushed from Richie’s shoulders and wound up swallowing a mouthful of lake water. He wretched so hard that the water almost came back up, causing his friends to laugh so hard that they nearly peed, especially Richie. Tozier shoved Kaspbrak as he gagged, calling him a pussy and such, riling him up to the point that made Eddie tackle Richie down into the water. The sound of boys shouting at the two was muffled as Richie and Eddie fought playfully under the water. Richie opened his eyes, and could see the murky outline of Eddie’s face as bubbles poured out from both of their noses. His glasses began to float off his face, but Eddie caught them just in time, returning them to the face of their owner before breaching the water and gasping for air. It was an intimate moment that Richie bookmarked in his memory.  
They swam to shore and laid out in the May sun as the prunes in their fingers dried up. They ate their 7/11 finds and told stories of the past school year, such as the time Mike touched a boob for the first time, or when Ben’s poetry made it to the county wide competition. Reminiscing was what the losers did best, as if memories defined who they were as people. Eddie brought up the homecoming dance, and they laughed over that legendary night. None of them had dates, so they went as a group. They snuck cheap beer into the dance, went to Rainforest Cafe afterwards, and spent the night at Ben’s where only three of them puked all that beer back up.  
Richie wound up throwing half of his gummy worms at Ben’s back, trying to get them to stick to his sweaty flesh. This goal was short lived when the rest of the group retaliated as they threw the now wet and dirty candies back at him. As the sun started to set, they LARPed as their D&D characters with discarded branches and crude renaissance resembling accents. Unfortunately, Stan, Ben, and Mike all had to return home before dark, so they all dressed, bid their goodbyes, and left Eddie and Richie to explore the local park in the dim night.  
They wandered the sidewalks, enjoying the atmosphere, still lightly sandy from their hours by the quarry. Richie walked along the curbs of the sidewalk, attempting to keep balance, while Eddie paced next to him with his hands shoved in his pockets.  
“Hey Eddie check this out,” Richie said as he attempted to jump off in a way that some may agree is cool. Eddie raised his eyebrows and nodded. Richie scoffed, and the two continued on their way.  
“Hey what do you think you’re gonna do for junior prom?” Eddie asked casually.  
Richie gave him a look and muttered, “Junior prom? It’s the last day of sophomore year and you’re already thinking about Junior prom?”  
“Yeah I mean, I feel like I need this much time to mentally prepare for asking a girl to the dance,” Eddie shrugged.  
“You’re going to ask a girl?” Richie stopped walking.  
Eddie stopped a few paces ahead of him and looked back saying, “Well yeah. I was thinking I could ask Sadie Kate.”  
“Sadie Kate??? God, why Sadie Kate, she smells like old raisins.”  
“She’s one of the few girls that tolerates me and I dunno man, I think she kinda likes me.”  
Richie huffed.  
Eddie grew bitter and asked, “Why do you care, you could get any chick in the school!”  
Richie hesitated, then took a look at their surroundings and blurted, “Race you to the swings!” Then took off towards them.  
“Wha- dude!” Eddie yelled as he ran after his friend.  
Richie grabbed the closest swing and hopped on it with a sense of purpose, then began swinging. Eddie took the swing next to his.  
“What the fuck man!” Eddie exclaimed.  
“What?” Richie defended.  
“You’ve been acting so weird all night, what is going on with you?” He asked with confusion.  
“What are you talking about? I’m just trying to have fun,” Richie said with a facade, and he swung quicker.  
“Can you just talk to me like a normal fucking person???”  
Richie stopped the swing and stared ahead, silently. There was an apologetic look on his. Eddie watched him carefully, waiting patiently for an answer. Richie hesitated.  
“I’m moving,” he muttered.  
Eddie’s world began spinning.  
“What..?”  
“I’ve been trying to tell you-“  
“When?” Eddie interrupted.  
Richie looked at his feet.  
“Tomorrow.”  
Eddie rubbed his face, upset.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I didn’t know how, I didn’t want us to have a countdown...”  
“Do the others know?”  
“No...”  
“Not even Stan? Isn’t he your best friend?”  
“I haven’t told him...”  
Eddie choked out a laugh.  
“Richie you can’t fucking do this!” He stood up quickly from his swing and marched over to the jungle gym.  
“Oh c’mon, Eddie...”  
Richie sighed and followed his friend, then crawled up onto it to face him. Eddie was pacing and biting his nails near the top of the slide. Richie could faintly see the shine of tears on Eddie’s waterline.  
“Eddie please calm down so we can talk about this,” Richie reached a hand out.  
Eddie snapped, “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down Richie, do not fucking tell me to calm down, okay??? You cannot drop this bombshell on me like that! Do you realize how unfair that was of you? How the fuck am I going to survive the rest of high school without you, let alone college and fuck man! Fuck!!!” He kicked the wall of the jungle gym, and Richie took a long pause before asking,  
“Are you done?”  
Eddie nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and that’s when the waterworks started.  
The brown haired boy began sobbing like a little girl who didn’t get a pony on Christmas. Richie stared at his friend with empathy.  
“My dad got a job in New York, I found out about it this month, and sure it was selfish of me to wait until the last minute but fuck Eddie I didn’t want the whole month to feel like this for you, I just wanted to enjoy every last second.”  
Eddie wiped his tear stained cheeks and sniffled, then nodded, understanding his reasoning.  
“God your dad is such an ass sometimes,” Eddie concluded.  
“You’re telling me,” Richie nodded.  
The two stood there quietly for a moment.  
“So what now? Game over?” Eddie asked quietly, no longer crying.  
“We can be like, pen pals or something.”  
Eddie giggled lightly, and Richie blushed.  
“I’m really going to miss you, Richie,” Eddie admitted.  
“Like, as a friend..?” Richie said under his breath and looked down at his feet.  
Eddie thought he misheard his friend, and furred his eyebrows.  
“What..?” Kaspbrak asked expectingly.  
Richie looked up to meet Eddie’s eyes, and he knew. So did Eddie.  
Before Eddie could fully process his feelings, his face was grabbed and Richie kissed him. Eddie froze, grabbing Richie’s wrists in a panic, then relaxed and gave in. It was messy, lips pressed against each other, mouths opening, and teeth clashing as the two sorrowful boys attempted to find a natural rhythm to explain their unspoken thoughts. They pulled at each other’s hair and glasses, then drew away and wiped their mouths off, trying to decide if what just happened was real. Richie stood there, winded, and Eddie was speechless.  
Richie was hit with a wave of shame, and he took a few steps back.  
“Fuck, I’m so sorry I-“  
Richie didn’t have the words to explain why he just did that, and Eddie didn’t have the confidence to respond. The boy with glasses adjusted them over his eyes, then took off running before Kaspbrak could see his tears. Eddie watched helplessly as his crying friend absconded on his bike, away into the nothingness of the night. Eddie sat with his legs hanging off the side of the jungle gym and rested his face in his hands.  
“What am I going to do...”  
Eddie walked in through his front door at a shocking 10:30 pm. The sound of the door closing was followed by a worried, “Eddie Bear? Is that you? Where have you been?”  
“Hi mommy...”  
Ms. Kaspbrak raced over to her boy as he stood in the foyer with tear stained cheeks, looking broken.  
“Aw honey what happened..?”  
He wasn’t strong enough to face his mother.  
“Richie’s moving to New York.”  
His mom pulled him into a tender hug, whining a maternal “awww”, which was all that was needed for the water works to start again. She rubbed his back comfortingly, then pulled away and kissed his forehead. She noticed how pink his face looked and raised an eyebrow.  
“Eddie, are you running a fever?” She asked, concerned.  
Eddie rubbed his eyes and said, “Oh no uh, he um... he kissed me before he left...”  
Ms. Kaspbrak turned sour and she growled, “He what?”  
Eddie shrunk down into himself and muttered, “Mommy, it was just a goodbye...”  
She shrieked, then grabbed her son’s wrist tightly and marched him to the bathroom as she shouted, “Oh my God I knew I had a bad feeling about that Tozier freak show, he’s a pervert and a pedophile!!!”  
Eddie was terrified, and shut down as his mother sat him down on the sink and proceeded to shove a bar of soap into his mouth. He gagged, but she forced it in to stay. He was trembling, terrified of the anger and disgust in his mother’s eyes.  
“We’ll start you on medication for herpes and get you tested for aids. Every Sunday we’ll talk to the pastor, you hear me??? Your summer reading will consist of the teachings of Christ! Who knows what kind of diseases that rat carried-“  
“Stop it sTOP IT!!!” Eddie smacked her hand away and spat the bar from his mouth. Bubbles, drool, and snot ran down his face as his eyes glowed with rage. He flung himself from the bathroom counter and ran upstairs to his room, where he locked himself in and hid himself under his sheets, sobbing violently until sleep overwhelmed his exhausted mind.  
The morning came with a burning revenge as Eddie’s baggy eyes adjusted to the light. He stumbled out of bed and meet his reflection in the mirror. He cringed at the mess before him. The clock read a taunting “11:24” and Eddie’s heart started racing. He had to get over there. The boy, now determined, unlocked his bedroom door, but realized it was now locked from the outside too. He didn’t have time to scream at his mother, so he went straight to the window. It wasn’t too hard to shimmy down the drain on the side of the house, this wasn’t the first time Eddie has had to escape his nightmare of a home. Once he reached the grass, he realized that his mom had also confiscated his bike too, so he took off on foot. He had no time to lose.  
“RICHIE!!!” Eddie yelled as the Tozier household came into view. The car was already pulling out of the driveway.  
“RICHIE WAIT!!!” He shouted in desperation and tried to run faster. His lungs were close to giving out. The silhouette of the boy in the back seat turned to look at Eddie as he approached the driveway. The car drove off, and Richie’s eyes met Eddie’s as the Tozier family disappeared from Derry for good.  
Eddie slowed his running down to a halt, and haunched over. He was obviously having a hard time catching his breath. The world shook as harsh reality weighed down on his lungs.  
“Eddie? Are you okay?”  
Eddie snapped to attention to find Stan standing in the driveway. He waved politely, and Eddie stood up straight with pained eyes. The two friends embraced, and Eddie sobbed dryly, he had no more tears left to cry. Stan patted his friend on the back, attempting to provide as much comfort as he could.  
“I know, I know...” Stan repeated over and over.  
Eddie believed what Stan said, and nodded. Stan was wise beyond his years, it was apparent he knew of the unspoken bond between his best friend and Eddie.  
“Where are Ben and Mike..?” Eddie asked after a long moment of silence.  
“Richie called me thirty minutes ago, I made it just in time to say goodbye. He didn’t tell the others to make it easier for him I guess. Maybe that makes him selfish, I dunno,” Stan nodded.  
Eddie sighed shallowly, then pulled away from the hug.  
“I need my inhaler.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie started at the ceiling and sighed. He wished he could write his own material. He didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t a good enough writer/comic, or if it was because he barely remembered his childhood. Many legendary comedians retold childhood stories, and the nostalgia, good and bad, was relatable to the audience. That’s where the comedy laid, in memories, and for some reason, he had none. All he had were small instances and moments he could recall. No specific faces, only how he felt for this one person in particular. He would call upon whatever remnants of this person he had left when he felt like he couldn’t make it though a show. The sheer feeling was enough for him to push through shitty nights. Richie couldn’t remember this person for the life of him though, and that fact pained him. He was 40, and somewhere along the years he lost his memories, along with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****explicit references and verbal abuse warning****  
Howdy y’all, I don’t have much to stay besides thank you guys so much for everything. I have always had a love for writing, and to know people enjoy my work makes me feel so validated. This chapter takes place in the future before the second movie just so we can see what the lives that they have created for themselves without their childhood memories look like. Hope you enjoy! (Also theres a reference in here that only intellectuals will understand, if you think you’ve found it drop a comment!)

Richard Tozier, age 40, a well known stand up comedian, was laying awake in bed as a naked woman slept at his side soundly. Earlier that night, he had a gig at a local California comedy club. This woman, who introduced herself as Sarah, was a fan he met after the show. They grabbed a couple drinks, and one thing lead to another, now she was fast asleep in his bed. He rubbed his face and sighed.

“Fuck...” he whispered to himself.

Richie sat up slowly and grabbed his glasses from his nightstand, then walked his bare ass to the bathroom. After closing the door, he turned the light on and faced the stranger in the mirror. Richie inspected every wrinkle on his face, every crevice, blemish, and imperfection. He did not recognize himself. Most nights after hooking up with a woman he found himself in this exact predicament; Sleepless, staring in a mirror, questioning it all. Richie turned to the shower and ran the water. He leaned his forearms against the wall as the faucet poured over his back. The warmth of the water against his emotionally exhausted skin was better than any lay he’s had with a girl, he thought to himself.

With damp hair, he returned back to bed wearing a Game of Thrones t-shirt and a pair of boxers. The movement as he got back under the covers was enough to wake Sarah up. She rolled over and wrapped her arm around Richie. He sighed.

“Mmmyou okay..?” She asked groggily.

“Yeah uh, just can’t sleep,” he responded.

“Well, you did great tonight.”

“Oh thanks, um, so were you...”

Sarah opened one eye and chuckled, “I meant your show.”

“Oh,” he felt embarrassed, “You really think so?”

“Yes of course! The crowd loved you.”

Richie thought back to his performance. The laughter that echoed his jokes felt fabricated earlier that night, just as his material did. He made it in this field by playing a character, Richard Tozier, who told jokes written by others. When Richie first started out in comedy, there was no truth behind it, as if his reality was lost in discarded memories of his childhood. Luckily, agents found his persona enjoyable, and his career took off in the most artificial way possible. He feels like he hasn’t heard genuine laughter from genuine jokes since he was a kid.

A small Bluetooth speaker played soft lofi, relaxing Richie enough to start to feel sleep overwhelm him.

“So tell me about yourself, Rich,” Sarah interrupted, and Richie’s eyes shot open.

“What do you mean?”

“What’s your deal? You’re like a weird nut that I can’t crack.”

“Thank you?” He smiled, and continued, “Well, I play a little guitar, I collect records, i used to skateboard, I dunno, I’m just an ordinary dude.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Uhhh... Derry. Derry, Maine,” he had to think about that for a moment.

“You haven’t mentioned that fact in your shows, have you?”

“No I don’t um, I don’t reference my life at all in my shows. Maybe thats why I’m so insecure about my work, theres no truth behind it, it’s all just fiction.”

“Mmm,” Sarah hummed, falling back asleep again.

Richie started at the ceiling and sighed. He wished he could write his own material. He didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t a good enough writer/comic, or if it was because he barely remembered his childhood. Many legendary comedians retold childhood stories, and the nostalgia, good and bad, was relatable to the audience. That’s where the comedy laid, in memories, and for some reason, he had none. All he had were small instances and moments he could recall. No specific faces, only how he felt for this one person in particular. He would call upon whatever remnants of this person he had left when he felt like he couldn’t make it though a show. The sheer feeling was enough for him to push through shitty nights. Richie couldn’t remember this person for the life of him though, and that fact pained him. He was 40, and somewhere along the years he lost his memories, along with himself.

“Hey Sarah, how old are you again?”

“Oh, I’m 25,” she smiled.

Richie shot up from where he laid and shouted, “What?”

Edward Kaspbrak, age 40, a risk analyst for a firm in New York, sat at his home computer desk at 8:00 pm, attempting to pay his bills. Stress ran through his body as the sound of his wife of five years, Myra, did the dishes in the other room while shouting complaints.

“I’m telling you, that woman at the bank took some of my cash. I asked for $50 back, and it took her thirty minutes to get it! She even looked like a thief!”

Eddie rubbed his face and groaned.

“Sweetheart, she didn’t steal our money, alright? I’m looking at our bank statements right now, everything checks out.”

There was silence for a blissful moment when Myra turned off the sink. Then she yelled again.

“When are you going to buy me that new dishwasher???”

“We just got that one five months ago!”

“You don’t take care of it and now it has wear and tear!!! This is what happens when you just throw dishes in here Eddie!”

Eddie rested his forehead in his palms and counted to ten. He turned off his computer, stood up, and stretched. 

“I’ll be on the porch,” he said with no concern whether to not Myra heard him. 

Eddie sped out of his house and closed the door behind him, then walked to the set of chairs on the porch and sat down. He reached under it and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Eddie came here when he needed to unwind. It was almost ironic that someone who analyzed risks for a living would take up such an unhealthy coping mechanism. Eddie’s whole life has turned into reasons to be anxious, so he thought fuck it. If this winds up killing him so what? He has come to terms with his mortality, begrudgingly so. He brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it, then took a deep pull and exhaled. He watched how the smoke danced in the air, illuminated by the porch light. For a moment, he felt nostalgic, which was to Eddie’s surprise. Eddie has always had trouble recalling most of his childhood years, he normally just blames it on old age. In this moment, he remembered trying pot for the first time with someone special. He didn’t remember that person’s face though, unfortunately. Eddie would try to recall this person’s face during moments of loneliness and sorrow. He didn’t remember this person, but he remembered how he felt.

After finishing his cigarette, he put out the fire against the concrete, then flung the evidence into the bushes. He skillfully hid the box and lighter under the chair in plain sight, then walked back inside with a cough.

Eddie laid in bed and read Preacher by Garth Ennis quietly to himself as Myra brushed her teeth, preparing to sleep.

“We should go to Hawaii,” she said with a mouthful of toothpaste.

Eddie looked up from his book and grinned, “We can make that happen.”

Myra rinsed her mouth and walked over to the bed where her husband laid.

“You think you could handle the plane ride with your motion sickness?” She asked innocently.

“It’ll be worth it.”

Myra sat next to Eddie on the bed and kissed him sweetly. Eddie put his book down and placed his hands on either side of her face, moving more towards her side of the bed where she sat. He sighed into the kiss. Then she pulled away slowly, and Eddie opened his eyes.

“Why do you smell like cigarettes???”

Eddie’s expression shifted. 

“Are you still smoking Eddie???”

He shut down and began dissociating.

She snapped him back to attention.

“Answer me!!!”

“Yes...”

“What???”

“Yes, I occasionally smoke...”

She shot out of bed, yelling, and began pacing and pointing fingers.

“Eddie we can’t keep doing this, a relationship is based off of trust, you cannot keep these secrets from me!!!”

“Oh trust as in when I caught you kissing your boss???” Eddie snapped.

Myra’s anger turned sour, “That was months ago Eddie!!! Don’t go pointing fingers, this conversation is about you and how your killing your fucking lungs!!!”

“Myra, I’m telling you, we need marriage counseling.”

“We do not, Eddie, because you’re the problem!!!”

Eddie huffed and rolled back onto his side of the bed and picked back up his book.

“Oh so now you’re going to ignore me???” Myra accused.

He was his trying his best to.

“You see, this is why we’re never going to fucking have kids, you would be such a shit farther! You don’t give a damn about your well being and responsibilities, you just do whatever the fuck you want to do whenever the fuck you want to do it! Pretty soon, you’ll be using heroin, lose your job, and wind up in jail! Is that what you really want Eddie, would you really fucking do that to me???”

The night ended with Eddie sleeping on the couch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Things will be like this forever, right Eds?” Richie asked sheepishly.  
“Absolutely, even when we’re old and wrinkly, we’ll be together,” Eddie said softly.  
Richie put an arm around Eddie, and the two hooted and hollered just to hear their happiness echo across the field.   
And then Eddie woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this boys!! I’m really passionate about this story i’ve written and I’m so happy you all are too! This chapter is where we branch off into an AU, I hope you like it :).

Autumn always meant one thing for Richie and Eddie: apple picking. It’s been their tradition since 5th grade, and now that they were 13, they were able to go on their own without their parents. They biked into the golden fields, knowing exactly where there would be no people, but coincidentally the best apples grew. The perfect place. They parked their bikes along the fence post and began to raid the apple trees. The two spent hours climbing and chucking apples at each other with no regards of safety or personal space as they rough housed. Their laugher was the only sound to be heard in the entire orchard. 

Richie challenged the two to climb all the way to the top of the tallest tree, and Eddie wasn’t about to turn down a friendly competition like this, regardless of his fear of heights. Effortlessly, Richie scaled the tree, yelling down to his slower friend to hurry up. Eddie took his time though, his arm was still weak from the trauma it experienced over the summer, and he didn’t want a repeat of it. When Richie reached the last branch that could support his weight, he sat down and pulled a shiny red apple from his pocket, and took a large bite as juice dribbled down his chin. Eddie wasn’t too far behind. Once he made himself comfortable next to his friend, Richie pulled a green apple from his pocket and handed it to Eddie. They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the day.

“Wanna see how far we can spit apple chunks?” Richie asked.

“You’re on.” Eddie grinned.

The two each took huge bites, chewed for a moment, then sputtered it back out. They cackled over how badly that turned out, then wound up chucking the rest of their apples to the ground.

Richie sighed contently, “This is just such a good day.”

“You could say that again,” Eddie gazed over the golden October fields.

“Okay, I will!” Richie took a deep breath and screamed into the nothingness, “EDDIE KASPBRAK IS MY BEST FRIEND AND THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING DAY, I DON’T NEED ANYTHING ELSE!!!”

Eddie grinned cheek to cheek, “Wow, deep stuff man.”

“I know right! I should grow up to be a performer.”

Eddie thought for a moment and nodded.

“Am I really your best friend? I thought Stan was.”

“I dunno man, it’s different I guess?” Richie adjusted his glasses.

“I get what you mean.”

They smiled at each other.

“Things will be like this forever, right Eds?” Richie asked sheepishly.

“Absolutely, even when we’re old and wrinkly, we’ll be together,” Eddie said softly.

Richie put an arm around Eddie, and the two hooted and hollered just to hear their happiness echo across the field. 

And then Eddie woke up.

His eyes felt heavy, but he fought for consciousness and surveyed his surroundings. He was in lying in some hospital bed, hooked up to various IVs and machines. Sunlight peeked through the curtains, and he saw flowers that people must’ve brought him, resting in various vases around a sleeping figure. As Eddie’s eyesight adjusted, he recognized the man immediately.

“Richie...” Eddie said weakly.

Richie snapped awake and stared at his friend in awe before he scrambled over to his bedside and took his hand, sobbing. Eddie realized that Richie’s right arm was in a cast, and written across is was a bolded “LOSER”.

“What’s with the cast, jackass..?” Eddie asked.

Richie tried to pull himself together so he could explain, “I um, pulling you out of that cave was harder than you would think, you know since you’re so tiny. So they patched me up and yanno, for solidarity and old time’s sake, I signed it.”

“You signed your own cast..?” Eddie laughed weakly, then dropped his facade and said, “You saved my life.”

“Yeah well, in doing so I saved mine too,” he cracked a soft smile, “I’m still selfish, don’t think I’ve gone soft on you Eds.”

Eddie had too many things to say, and so little energy to do so, so he started with the simple things. 

“How long was I out?”

“Uhh, about a week and a half. The others visit everyday but I haven’t left the hospital yet, hence why I took like a dumpster fire behind a Walmart,” Richie adjusted his glasses.

“Still selfish, eh?” Eddie raised an eyebrow with a grin, then asked, “Has Joe visited me yet?”

Richie looked confused, “Who’s Joe?”

“Joe mama,” Eddie cackled as loudly as his lungs would let him, then he winced in pain and remembered his condition, so he calmed down. Richie was chuckling softly, then he squeezed Eddie’s hand in his and choked back tears.

“I love you,” Richie said in a shaky voice. 

Eddie’s vision focused in on Richie’s expression tenderly, and he didn’t have the words yet to express exactly how he felt, there was too much Morphine in his system. 

“Can I sign your cast..?” He asked quietly, unable to breath their gaze.

Richie’s expression shifted and he barked, “I just confessed to you, dickhead, and your only response is to sign my cast?”

“Just get me a red sharpie dickwad,” Eddie barked back, and Richie did so with confusion. Eddie struggled to open the marker, but once the lid was off, he scribbled a “V” over the “S” on Richie’s cast, and Richie’s heart throbbed. 

“I’m on a lot on painkiller right now,” Eddie said with a loving smile, knowing that was the cheesiest thing he’s ever done. Richie smiled back, then gently cupped Eddie’s cheeks in his hands and leaned in. Eddie beat him to the punchline and kissed him hard, placing his hands gently on his chest and pulling the collar of Richie’s shirt. Richie dragged a hand up through Eddie’s hair, and the two embraced until it felt like all the wasted years without each other felt irrelevant compared to this moment. Eddie winced again and had to pull away.

“You alright..?” Richie asked quietly.

“I was severely impaled, so I’m doing fantastic,” Eddie smiled lightly.

Richie leaned in to his ear and said in a low voice, “You know, you are going to have the sickest scar once you heal.”

Eddie laughed.

Richie reclined on his couch scrolling through his social media. He had returned to his upscale, three bedroom apartment in California. Eddie entered the room nervously, and Richie looked up and put his phone down.

“Did you send the email?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, also called my lawyer. We are now legally in the process of getting a divorce, hoorayyy...” Eddie said with an exhausted smile.

Richie furred his eyebrows. It had been three months since Derry, Eddie was magically almost healed, and Myra never bothered to visit him in the hospital. In protest, Eddie left with Richie to Cali, and after a bad fight with his wife over the phone, he knew it was time to finally break free.

“I’m real proud of you Eds,” Richie smiled.

“Hey, just because we live together doesn’t mean that you can use that god awful nickname,” Eddie walked over to the couch and clambered on top of the man who laid there. Richie flushed, and Eddie sighed.

“Why did I get married...” Eddie said lightly. 

Richie didn’t know how to answer that.

“Yeah I don’t know man, wasn’t your best call, she’s kind of fucking insane,” Richie joked, and Eddie shoved him.

“For real though Eddie, I haven’t had one phone conversation with this woman without her tearing down my self confidence from the inside out! You, Mr. Kaspbrak, could have done much better,” he concluded.

“I feel like, I dunno, I was almost 35 and there was all this pressure to get married- hell, Richie, I met her on a dating website! Those relationships never last!” Eddie laughed about it for a moment, then realized, “You never wrote me.”

Richie raised his eyebrows in realization, “I did not...”

“How come?”

“I forgot,” he said truthfully.

“Me too...” Eddie cracked a light smile, and Richie joined him.

“I’ll never leave you again Eds. My whole life I’ve felt like there’s been this void- this part of me that I could never understand. Being with you, having all of these memories back, I realize that it was you who I was missing...” Richie said with confidence.

Eddie beamed, “Yeah, life has fucking sucked since you left. It won’t happen again. But still, don’t call me Eds.”

Richie smirked, “Why don’t you make me?”

They kissed, then Eddie pulled away slowly. 

“I love you too,” he said quietly.

Richie looked surprised, “Wait really?”

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“No just, it took you this long to respond, I was hoping that you were on enough painkiller that you would forget I said that, for my humility sake,” Richie cracked a smile.

“Well, do you still feel that way..?”

“Yes of course I do Eddie, fuck!”

They kissed again, as best they could against giant grins and giggles. Their phones buzzed, and they waited a moment longer before checking who texted them both. It was from Mike, who was leaving Derry soon, and he wanted to visit the kissing bridge one last time. Eddie and Richie’s inbox held one attachment image, which displayed a 27 year old carving of an R+E.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter folks! I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have, this is the first finished piece of work i’ve done in a while and it’s so satisfying to say that it’s done. I will absolutely keep writing, thanks again for all of your support!

A man walked onto stage, and the audience erupted in cheers. He waved in gratitude.

“Hi, thank you, thank you. Uhh yeah, hey, I’m Richie Tozier, as you probably already know, because my name is on the marquee. I just wanted to reintroduce myself, you know, since it’s been a year since my last show. And I also wanted to say no more bullshit, I don’t write my own material. ... I know, shocker right? So yeah, no more bullshit, I wrote this entire show. It took me this long, so I figured hey, might as well start somewhere. My childhood was beyond fucked up, I think a part of coping with that was complete and utter amnesia. Oh yeah, you know shit was bad when you even forget the good things. But recently, I’ve been able to remember things about myself and people that helped make me the man I am today. So you know, they must’ve been giant losers. My friends, we called ourselves the Losers Club, not because we were like ahead of our time, misunderstood artists, no we were actual fucking losers. I got beat up in the halls for breathing, not joke, I would be like “Hey can I borrow a pencil?” and they would spit in my face like “GET OUTTA HERE FOUR EYES, WITH YOUR GAY LITTLE GLASSES!” Like thanks guys, I’m far sighted as hell but sure. God, we were such losers. And we were from a small town too, Derry, Maine. You think that hence the name we’d make quirky dairy jokes, like “Haha, milk ain’t the only white thing that we’re known for,” like fucking twelve year olds. No instead, we went based off the fact that Derry was originally a beaver trapping camp. “Ahaha, beavers am I right boys?” We were such losers, that we actually organized a Ghostbusters costume group for Halloween. Like planning, weeks at thrift shops, we put effort into this shit. We would get all hyped like “Richie, how does busting make you feel?” “BUSTING MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!” We got so into it! Luckily, there were only four of us at the time. I would hate to be the guy that would have to break it to someone that they would have to be Slimer. Like ooo sorry buddy, but you’re the weakest link out of all of us, so you have to play the gross loogie ghost. God, what was the deal with loogies man? They’re so gross dude, knowing that shit actually comes from inside of you. It’s disgusting! What we would do is spit them over the side off a cliff and see who wins. We would actually have arguments over whether the competition was based off of mass or distance, like we would get competitive over this shit! We would find so many weird games to play to fill the void where technology lacked in our lives. Also, technology is fucking beautiful, am I right? We always talk about how it’s a problem, but I wish I had an iPhone when I was 13! I feel like I could’ve rocked a MySpace at that age. “Hai im Richie Trashmouth, Street Fighter 4 lyfe!!!!” You know, it wasn’t all bad though, my friends were actually pretty cool for losers. Beverley was the token girl, and not for reasons that you would think. She genuinely fit in with us. Her and I would sneak off to the park to smoke cigarettes. She might’ve been the coolest out of all of us actually. She’d be puffing her cigarette like a classy woman from the 1920s, aware of her sexuality and socially confident, and I’d be over here choking down the smallest pull like an absolute fucking loser. Just fucking, hacking it down, trying to prove that my two inch fucking dick was bigger than it was, making me seem like my balls have dropped even though they haven’t in front of a cool girl. No you know who really made me feel inferior? My friend Mike, he was the sweetest, most attractive, most intelligent kid out of all of us. The only reason he hung out with us was because people are racist assholes! It’s was shitty as hell, the poor kid was picked on relentlessly. We actually once saved him from the fucking psychopathic bullies by throwing rocks at them. Yeah, fucking rocks, the good old days. I feel like people never talk about how violent bullies were in the 80s. Kids nowadays will bully you over the internet, the dipshits I had to deal with had knives, fire, and the occasional gun. Dude, I guarantee most of those fuckers are locked away in straight jackets, and the other half work in auto parts. My friend Ben had an H carved into his stomach by one of those guys. Ben used to be the “new kid”, and he was heavier set, so an easy target and an easy loser. But the thing is, Ben grew up and got hot and successful. I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes, I hadn’t seen him in twenty odd years and I was just like “Hoooly shit, he looks amazing, what the fuck happened to me? I look like an 8 bit video game avatar.” We all had our quirks in the Losers Club, Bill unfortunately was saddled with a stutter. Watching that kid try to present an essay was like trying to watch Andre the Giant beat box. Like “What the fuck are you saying, is that fucking English?” Some of my best memories- and one of the biggest losers in the club is my um, is Eddie. His mom probably had mild munchausen disorder, she would make him take all of these pills for shit like halitosis and blue waffle. He had this fanny pack that he wore everywhere that carried all of his medication, he looked like that one aunt who lived in a studio apartment with like five cats. But god, that kid was snarky. I uh, heh, I once asked if his pills were his birth control, and he told me that he was saving them for my sister. Eddie, wow, Eddie was something else. And he still is! This mother fucker could’ve become anything he wanted to be, he has the guts and gravitas to do so, and he became a risk analyst. Was that job invented before fun? Holy shit. Whatever, he’s successful regardless, and he does mean a lot to me. So does Stan. Stan was my best friend, Stan the man. He was one of the very few Jews who lived in Derry, his dad was the rabbi in the only synagogue. We had a lot in common with each other, which was bullies fucking hated us. We actually met when we were cornered on the playground in kindergarten by a bunch of second graders, putting us on the bottom of the food chain together. We were an unlikely pair, but we worked. Stan um... We unfortunately lost him last year, too soon too. The last time I saw him was when I moved from Derry when I was a teenager, I wish we had stayed in contact but shit happens. ... Shit fucking happens, Stan died from fear. Because of that, I’m fucking tired of being afraid. I’ve learned to shut down and hide, but I don’t want who I am to be something more to fear. That’s why I was so fucking nervous to preform tonight, this show has been up close and personal. But fuck it, I’m not afraid anymore. I’m gay.”

Richie dropped his microphone and the audience erupted in mixed reactions, gasps, cheers, etc. He didn’t care anymore, he marched from the stage into the wings where Eddie stood, smiling cheek to cheek.

“Wow, deep stuff man,” Eddie said sarcastically, but with encouragement.

Richie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black box. Eddie’s expression changed.

“What the fuck is this?”

Richie opened it and held out the ring.

“Marry me?”

“Oh you son of a bitch.”

Eddie kissed Richie hard as his eyes welled up with tears. He pulled away and spoke weakly.

“Yes.”

The surrounding stage management around them cheered, hidden away from the audience.

You, the viewer of Richie Tozier’s netflix special, watch as the screen fades to black, and text appears on the screen.

“In loving memory of Stanely “The Man” Uris”.


End file.
